WHAT IS SELF CONFIDENCE

Before defining self confidence, I want to brief us on a story that should help set the atmosphere for tonight’s topic.

A young man (journalist) was on a mission to know people’s opinion on the question “What is the most disgusting thing in the world” So he went to the airport where he knew he could get access to different people. He asked “What is the most disgusting thing in the world to you”

And people came up with different answers.Things like unstable economy,climate change e.t.c but then he saw a monk and was curious to know the man’s point of view was and this was how the discussion went

Journalist: Sir what is the most disgusting thing in the world

But the monk answered with a counter – question.

 

Monk: who are you?

Journalist: I am John Smith

Monk: No that is your name

Journalist: I am a journalist for a TV company

Monk: No that is your job

Journalist: Okay I am a human being

Monk: No that is just your species.

Then the monk said the most disgusting thing in the world to me is being unaware of who you are?(adapted from “Who am I” by Sunday Adelaja)

I would be drawing my definition from this

“Self confidence is equivalent to who we think we are”

Self-confidence is an attitude about your skills and abilities. It means you accept and trust yourself and have a sense of control in your life. You know your strengths and weakness well, and have a positive view of yourself. Sometimes we wrongly tie our self confidence to what we do for a living, people we are associated with but the true meaning of self confidence starts with a great awareness of SELF
How do I know the things we do or are involved with don’t determine our self confidence?

Quick question Why do you think reputable people like doctors,celebrity e.t.c commit suicide? They have everything. They have achieved all they need to achieve but in the long run they have also lost touch with who they really are. I would like to bring to our notice that

We have ARTIFICIAL self confidence

We have NATURAL (in born) self confidence.

Artificial confidence is trying to build up your confidence by surrounding yourself with things, people e.t.c

People with this have everything but they realise at the end of the day that they have achieved nothing so they believe they have nothing to live for and take their own lives.

Natural confidence which is from within takes intentionality to discover and build on,this is where we draw strength from. This makes us feel fulfilled in life. On this note I will move quickly to the next.

LACK OF CONFIDENCE? (what next?)

We lack confidence when we feel we are not adequate enough. I would love to bring our attention to something. When God wanted to create an individual,he saw a problem on Earth he created you to be the unique solution to that problem.We were uniquely made.

And NO ONE on Earth can have the same trait with another person, something must surely be different. The physical evidence of this is our finger print.

We need to start seeing ourselves as the solution to a particular problem not the problem itself

Lack of confidence can cause the following:

APPROVAL ADDICT
These are the kinds of people that seek approval for a living. They need People’s approval to feel good about themselves or to see themselves as someone important.

LOW SELF ESTEEM

In this category,your greatest enemy is you. It is okay to see people not believing in you or looking down on your capacity but it is an error to do this things to yourself….

It is risky not to believe in who you are, people in this category are easily manipulated

NEGATIVE VIEWS

Under this comes hatred,anger e.t.c

I would like us to note that as a person we can hate ourselves. Under this category we can argue “Aha but I love myself,I feed myself,clothe myself e.t.c”

My question is when last have you sat down with yourself,you alone to talk beautifully to yourself. When last have we really complimented ourselves.I feel it should become normal for us to wake in the morning and say things like

“Am I the only lucky person in this world”

“Kai I am so unique,like I am so smart”

“Omo I too fine” and so on

WAYS TO BUILD SELF CONFIDENCE

1. SET TIME TO REFLECT ON WHAT YOU HAVE ACHIEVED

Sometimes we get distracted when we see others achieving things then we believe we have not done anything. But if we are to sit down,get a pen and a plain paper and write down all we have achieved then we realise we have so much to be thankful for

2. GET A HOBBY

Everyone have one or two things they “LOVE” doing.When life seems stressful or we feel our confidence reducing doing the things we love energize us to move forward and stand with our heads lifted.We connect with our inner self to draw strength from. Inspiration flows from within

3. THINK OF THINGS YOU ARE GOOD AT

I previously stated that we are wired differently and uniquely. It is time to stop looking at what Mr A is good at and start focusing on what we are good at. Are you good at teaching?

Then you build on this trait and master it,it could be that you were created to uniquely teach. Then you should teach like no one can teach better……….
When we think and do what we are good at,it helps to release our potentials and in return builds our confidence

In conclusion: I would be leaving us with a quote by Marianne Williamson.

“Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually who are you not to be?we were born to make manifest the glory of God within us and we let our own light shine,we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same”

Sometimes we fear we are inadequate and sometimes we fear our potentials. Our potentials are not to be feared but embraced.