Who is a slay queen?
A lady who lives in the media and is constantly trying to choke us with how beautiful and posh she looks and constantly looking for cheap attention.
Now that we know who she is, I have put up interesting guidelines on how you can fulfill your life long dream of becoming one.
You must love Money:
Money should come first for you, else how do you intend funding and living your luxurious lifestyle? Money is foremost on this journey. It’s as important as the air you breathe.. You don’t need a certificate as much as you need money. And if you are wondering how to make money, you don’t have to break your precious nails working on any job baby, you are a queen. Look for a king. you have to catch a rich dude or sugar daddy to sponsor your dream.
Just know how to identify a Benz and when to bat your lashes and sweep a man off his feet (a rich man of course)
You are Social media and Social Media is You
Repeat this until you understand. From the Moment you wake up, you must update us via Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, snapchat where you are having breakfast, where you would be having Lunch,what you ordered,the colour of your juice, where you shop; keep us posted as though our poor lives depend on it.
Social media is the greatest platform you will have for your rear talent – slaying.
You must have a good camera phone so you can take loads of photos and videos of yourself practically doing nothing – maybe just swaying gently and batting your lashes.
Best times to take a photo:
when you are at a friend’s brother’s former classmate’s party(make sure you are holding an expensive drink).
When you are on a date with one of your boos at an exquisite restaurant /hotel.
Whenever you have the opportunity of being in a fancy car.
You must be a Fashionista:
Have you ever seen a slay queen that put on clothes that are not designers? Maybe a cheap slay queen-Not you! You must have a vast collection of trendy and expensive clothes, shoes, handbags, glasses, and wigs. Fashion is a must for every slay queen… You must always update your wardrobe even if it means starving yourself.
You could make money from wearing brands but that’s after you must have gotten an alarming number of followers.
Your makeup must always be on fleek and the heavier the better. You should be able to mold your face into any shape and colour you want, don’t worry if your face and neck don’t correspond, no one will notice.
Your lashes should be the size of a bird’s feathers. Match this with contact lens the colour of a rainbow.
Watch as many makeup videos you can until you learn, or you can just hire a makeup artist- Slay Queens are never seen without makeup on.
Learn to pose for a photo:
You should be able to virtually pose from any angle but always ensure that your big behind (hope you have one) is in full view. Show us how endowed you are.
Learn how to tilt your head, pout your lips and stick your tongue out.
Make sure you pose at an angle we can see all your accessories – (wristwatch, bracelets, earrings, handbags) so we see how expensive they are.
Learn the Language :
That you have never been to the U.S or Britain doesn’t mean you can’t copy their accents. Every word that proceeds from your mouth should be sufficiently sprinkled with ‘oh my god’, ‘wharrever’ and ‘really’. Randomly use the word ‘like’ between words of your sentence. – Am Like on my way to like the salon to like get my hair done – you get the point.
You must like to party:
Your life as a slay queen is incomplete without you turning up at parties. You don’t have to know whose party it is, so long as it’s in one of those renowned clubs, go have fun baby!
Going to such party without your phone is a ridicule of your person and what you represent! Don’t forget to feed us in on how you graced the party with your esteemed presence. – where it’s happening, what you wore, the brand of whiskey in your hand, and the flavour of your shisha pot.
You have no business with broke guys/friends
You must detest the word ‘broke’. It is not and will never be your portion. Surround yourself with only people in the game. Your boos must be fully loaded – all of them(remember they are your primary source of income since you have no job or business you are running).
And all your rich friends are useful – They are either borrowing you clothes or taking you to exotic places or funding your outings, or introducing you to more rich people – see?
You have no business with broke people even if you are broke yourself.
These are some of the guidelines I can dish out for now to aid you on your journey.